My Loving Request Letter

5:38 PM

To whom if may concern,

This is another one of those love requests. Yeah, I know I know, we may have had this conversation two, three, thirty times before.

I am positive that I am a pretty girl (even though sometimes when I look at myself, especially in pictures, I tend to resemble a gay man). For the most part, I have pretty high self-esteem (though I do do tend to be my worse enemy when it comes to putting myself down).

Look. Where is my tall dark and handsome?

I once knew a man who was tall, dark, and handsome. Intelligent, witty, and had a good job. One who supported me in so many ways, including my dreams. I thought I had found my soul mate. At last.

That was not the case. Actually, maybe I had but, because I didn't deal with my issues, I lost him. They say that you don't know what you have until it it gone.

I suffered my pain. My heartache.

I am sure it was some type of punishment. Hopefully, I have served my time.

Now, I would like to move forward.

I have not dated a man for the last 9 months. I have not even entertained the suggestions from men who have offered to take me out. I have declared that I am not dating and am concentrating on other areas in my life.

Part of this (I have to admit), is because I am positive that in the city I live in there are no men . . .well there are men but, not any who will meet my criteria.

Hey, just cause I am old and lonely doesn't mean I can't have standards and a list of requirements.

I refuse to settle. Compromise . . . maybe -- settle . . . no.

So, here is the short version

Tall, dark, and handsome (to me. . you know I tend to find men handsome others give me side eye over).

Intelligent, funny, good job, doesn't mind children (and doesn't have a thang for them either).

In good physical shape (yes, I have noticed my muffin top growing but he can help me work it off. Know what I'm saying. Okay okay okay and I'll exercise too).

There is no lady-like way to really put this but I will try. On a scale of 1 to 10 of the do you like sex meter. I pick 30. And let me tell you no sex what so ever for 9 months has not been easy. So, he better like it. And often.

Lastly, he has to be supportive. I got ambitions and dreams. If he isn't trying to get there with me . . . he needs not to be with me. I am not asking him to do anything but give me the emotional and mental support I need and every once in a while some advice and a helping hand.

Okay, I am done. You have my request. I will wait with patience to see what you send my way. Thanks in advance.


(I will assume this commercial on my television is not a sign. May he find me and I not have to go search for him. Though, I would like to try speed dating. It just seems fun).

p.s. we need to have a long talk about that guy at the bus stop with me. You know the young one with the cigarette, Payless boots, yucky teeth, and speaking Ebonitics, talking about he got kidz (with a z) and from the way he bummed a dollar from that female co-worker of his . . not much of a paycheck). Not amusing at all.

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