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We Married Now I Need a Man

I am a jealous person.

So, I am struggling with trying to understand the concept of an open marriage. I need believers of this type of relationship to explain it to me in toddler terms.

I am talking about two people who are so in love with one another they get married (which I thought was a commitment . . .call me old fashion)then go off and get sidepieces.

First, off I would never enter into this type of relationship and if my man were to suggest it . . I would suggest he get up out my bed and get going.

I just don't get it. What about STD's and unwanted pregnancies?

And like I said I am a jealous vindictive person. Let say I have by some round the bout way agreed to this type of relationship. Only with the understanding I never see or hear anything about her. Then, one day I see this woman. She is not only beautiful, but she got a banging body.

Next morning.

Him: "Honey, could you bring me a glass of juice?"

Me: "I tell you what. You want some juice, ride your behind out to your side piece's house and get some."

Him: "I thought we agreed . . ."

Me: *pulling his clothes out the closet (thinks: that was before I seen she looked better than me).

The sad thing is even if she were ugly I would still get upset. I know he ain't sleep with someone who looks like that. She could have at least been better looking.

What about the emotional side of this type of relationship?

What if I (or him) began to fall in love with the other person?

What about this type of marriage am I missing?


marcelino said…
Why do we have to just assume the side piece is for sexual favors?

I have a sleeping disorder, it would lower my chances of a stroke and healthcare costs, if a side piece read me bed time stories. many times have women entered into a relationship 'knowing' the guy they were dating was seriously dating other women? How many 'other women' are out there knowing they are the other woman? They are openly sharing a man.

My guess is that it is better to know. To have an understanding that you are not sneaking around behind my back. It is better that everyone in the situation is aware of what is going on.

Would/Could I do it in a marriage? No. But was I cheated on and knew I was beaing cheated on? Yes. Could I openly share my husband? No. Have I shared a man in the past? Yes. The real question there much of a difference?
jaded said…
You're actually the second blogger whose post I have commented on about this very subject.

Let me start out by saying that open marriages are NOT for me. I am just not the "type". (For all the reasons you noted).

But I wonder if multiple sexual partners equals an open marriage at all? I think we assume that it is (I mean...what else would it be??). But part of me thinks that there is way more to it than that.

What if it's something that two people who are in most ways compatible, but in one major way, not?

Say we have a husband who frequently travels for business, and for some reason just cannot be around very often. Is it inconcievable (lol) that he might allow his wife to see someone else who is able to cater to her emotional needs? And in return he gets a wife who, when they are together, are completely happy.

Personally I think to myself, hell naw. But, at the same time, I can't help but acknowledge that this arrangement MAY work for them.

I guess the most important thing in terms of open marriages is being with someone who shares your view point.
I am like you, waaayyy too jealous to ever accept an open relationship. Will NEVER happen.
Regina said…
Great post! I think this is the topic of the week. I went past another blog talking about the same thing! I definitely agree with you on this. It is not for me!
The Scorpio in me is VERY jealous and would be saying, MF Please! You better go on wit that BS and find someone else!
The Christian in me would be saying, marriage is between 1 man and 1 woman, anything else is adultery!
The woman in me would be saying, Dude if I am not enough for you then move on!

It is not for me, but if it works for others... Hey to each his own!
(I ended a 12 year marriage over adultery, I take certain things VERY seriously!)
Jasmine said…
I answered this question for some online friends a while back. It's too long to repost. You can
read my answer here.
Sultana said…
Sorry, I couldn't do it either!